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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why don't blonde's like audio-books? A: There aren't any pictures."

"A giant lizard rebuilds Japan and the moonwalks into the sea. #ReverseAFilmPlot"

"How is having sex with a woman and eating at KFC similar? After you're done with the juicy breasts and the tender thighs, all there's left to do is to throw the bone in the greasy box."

"Aw look he's about to say his first words! ""Say dada!"" *baby opens mouth* Here it comes! *airhorn noise*"

"""Florence + the Machine"" would be a funny name for a Leonardo da Vinci biopic. Follow this account for more goodass Renaissance tweets"

"Superman: I hate your Bat Cave! I can't get cell service Batman: Your carrier sucks Superman: Oh yeah, who do you use? Batman: Bat Mobile"

"What do you call it when you think deeply about something you just saw on reddit? Redditation. I am so sorry... that was horrible."

"What's the difference between England and Oscar Pistorius? England gets off scott-free."

"Why is divorce so expensive? Because it is worth it."

"Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties? Because there's lots of school spirit!"