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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between England and Oscar Pistorius? England gets off scott-free."
Next Joke
"[on date] HER: I cant see u anymore ME (hiding under table): lol I know H: no I mean I cant see u anymore M (still under table): lol I know"
"Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?"
"How many kids with ADHD does it take to change a lightbulb? Let's go ride our bikes!"
"Ever tried anal sex? Its fucking shit."
"[talking to daughter's art major boyfriend] ""You know who else had a pointy beard? Satan."""
"I got arrested for killing a black man They charged me with impersonating a police officer."
"What color do you think Eddie Smurphy was? Blue, you racists"
"No need for instructions when building something, just put it together all wrong & then read them later after taking it apart to start over."
"Why is Smurfette the only smurf who recycles? She's the only one with a blue box."