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Joke of the Day
"Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing"
Next Joke
"What is brown and sticky? A stick"
"I knew she'd been working at the foundry... because I smelter."
"Me: Cleaning up is a superpower. Don't you want to be a superhero? 5-year-old: I'll just be a bad guy."
"How many music majors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 16 One to screw it in and 15 others to stand around and talk shit about how bad the one person did."
"What was the score of the lobster soccer game? Zero to zero. Lobsters can't kick soccer balls."
"My uncle Fred used to say "" What you can't hear can't harm you"" *used to* He was killed by ninjas."
"How did the domestic goods feel when they were being shipped overseas? Tarrif-ied."
"Don't worry, husbands. If something should happen to you, your wife already has the next one lined up."
"HEY, mom of 3 unruly kids staring at her phone in the bookstore: ... Do you have a charger I can use?"