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Joke of the Day

"Don't worry, husbands. If something should happen to you, your wife already has the next one lined up."

"what is it called when a redditor has a threesome? using both hands"

"Did you hear about the guy who used the door knocker? He won a no bell prize. I'm sorry if this is a repost. I searched but couldn't find anything close."

"My roommate and I don't get along. It's because I'm a cat person and she's a bitch."

"Open an ice cream shop with flavors like ""don't be sad,"" ""they're not worth it,"" ""you deserve better"" and see if people don't flock right in"

"What's the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother? An Italian mother says ""If you don't eat it I'll kill you."" A Jewish mother says ""If you don't eat it I'll kill myself."""

"Why does everybody like the mushroom? Because he's a fun guy."

"I was going to have a life but then twitter happened."

"My girlfriend and I could never agree on holidays... I wanted to fly to exotic places and stay in luxurious five-star hotels. And she wanted to come with me."

"Why are Republicans so easy to point out? They're usually the elephant in the room"