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Joke of the Day

"Shout out to my drug dealer Jamal, he's taught me more about the metric system than any of my teachers ever did."

Next Joke
 
"My wife asked why I keep my guns in the library. I said it's for shelf-defense."
"About to eat at the Cheesecake Factory/commit a hate crime against my butthole."
"How to start an internet fight: 1. Write a comment 2. Wait"
"ME: [in g-string and hardhat] You sure this is what Boss meant by strip-mining? [A bat swoops down and tucks a crumpled bill into my thong]"
"Why was the 1 year old Ethiopian boy crying? He was having a midlife crisis."
"Went to watch 'Comedy Thesaurus - The Punny Years' at the local theater yesterday. Disappointing, it was just a play on words."
"How long does it take for mods to remove a post? [removed]"
"In the US the best men of all are called ""bros."" In the UK, it's ""lads."" Either way, they're both thoughtful, selfless & fun to be around."
"A man went to a meeting for premature ejaculators anonymous but there was no one there, he came to early."