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Joke of the Day

"Water boarding People who have been waterboarded are hipsters, because they got into pouring water on there head, before it before it was, cool..."

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"I got arrested for shooting a black man I was charged for trying to impersonate a police officer"
"What is the difference between a Mexican and a book? A book has papers."
"My husband suffers in silence louder than any person I know"
"With the magic of makeup, I go from tired old hag to tired looking old hag with eyeliner."
"No Calls ? I Understand . No Text ? I Understand , But When You See Me With Someone Else Please Understand ."
"What did ""Nock"" say to ""K""? You can join us, as long as you stay quiet."
"If you want to drink and drive you better bring enough for the whole highway."
"Just called the fire department to tell them that dogs pee on fire hydrants so they should probably all wash their hands."
"TIL you can fit 30 bananas in a Kangaroo's pouch. Also, I'm not allowed at the zoo anymore."