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Joke of the Day

"Ok how about a nail polish line for office ladies with colors like Legal pad, Non-dairy creamer, Mug stain, Excel, Boss neck..."

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"What's the difference between saying sorry and apologizing? You can say sorry at a funeral."
"In honor of America's upcoming Independence Day, do you know why America spells ""behavior"", ""color"", and ""humor"" the way they do? Because **fuck u**, that's why!"
"Boss asked if I was ready for more responsibility. I'm eating around a sticker on an apple cause I'm too lazy to peel it off so I guess no."
"""Mommy, why do I have black skin and you have white skin?"" ""Honey, when I think back to that night, you're lucky you don't bark."""
"Which star do the dinosaurs like best? The one that keeps getting bigger"
"What is a Mexican's favorite sport? Cross country!"
"God... Two goldfish are swimming around their bowl. One asks the other, ""Here - do you believe in God?"" The other one says, ""Of course I do! Who you think changes the water in our bowl?"""
"The teacher asks little Timmy why he brought his cat into school... and he replied, "" My daddy said to my mommy he's going to eat that pussy tonight!"""
"There's no easy well to tell your girlfriend that she has bad breath. I think I'm just going to stop kissing your girlfriend. edit: meant to say ""way"" instead of ""well"""