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Joke of the Day

"In awkward situations I'll sometimes break out my braille version of Calvin and Hobbes. You know - comic relief."

"Batman can safe the world ,but clark kent"

"What do you call a good looking canyon? Gorge-ous"

"NO. Absolutely not. I do not want to see your stupid cat video I've seen a billion cat vid-yeah ok let me see"

"I drank too much over the holidays. I was at the doctor's yesterday and gave a urine sample. It had an olive in it."

"I was so close to having sex after a long dry spell Then my wife woke me up"

"Before my surgery, the anesthetist offered to use knockout gas or whack me over the head with a canoe paddle. It was an ether/oar situation."

"""No points, illegal kick to the face."" ""But I'm the hero of this movie."" ""Fair enough, here's your trophy."" -The Karate Kid"

"How many nails are there in a lesbian's coffin? None. It is all tongue and groove"

"No one knows if you're cool when you're a jew because backwards yarmulkes look the same as normal ones"