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Joke of the Day
"Two things you should never do: 1. Run with scissors 2. Scissor with the runs"
Next Joke
"Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die."
"Didja hear an LGBT singer just came out with a cover of that Santana Grammy-winner from a few years back? It's called ""Brooth"""
"What is a dead giveaway someone has no idea what they are doing? They have an engineering degree."
"One beer can in a cooler says ""what's up?"" to another. The other one replied, ""Just chilling""."
"I just got a text saying they lost my cell number & could I send it. This is the level of stupid I deal with."
"What childhood game are orphans not aloud to play? House."
"I don't understand the big deal about same sex marriage Ask any married couple, they'll tell you the sex has been the same for years"
"What's the difference between a waitress at a strip club and a stripper? About 2 weeks."
"I want to be rich enough to leave the house-sitter notes like: ""If the cheetah looks bored, jog him on the treadmill. He can watch Friends."""