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Joke of the Day

"I lost my balance on an escalator and fell down the stairs for 2 hours."

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"Failed Hallmark card: I'm sorry I stabbed you with a fork when you leaned in to kiss me. I thought you were going to take my taco."
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"When I see something funny on the internet, I don't usually laugh. I just blow more air out of my nose than usual."
"Why was Hitler late to his meeting? He couldn't HEIL a cab."
"You know that you are ghetto when you can fit 110 words into 140 characters."
"How do five gay guys walk? In one direction."
"If someone calls me a sir one more time I will literally wear a top hat and a monocle and roll my eyes so hard you will not survive."
"you are one of billions of workers trading irreplaceable hours of your life so a few hundred guys can have more money than anyone in history"
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