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Joke of the Day

"Failed Hallmark card: I'm sorry I stabbed you with a fork when you leaned in to kiss me. I thought you were going to take my taco."

"Yarrrr! What's a pirrrate's favorite letterrr? ""R?"" NOOO!!! It's the Sea!!!"

"Two drunk Man Two drunks are in a bar. First one: ""My wife is an angel"" Second one: ""You are lucky! Mine is still alive."""

"""I just tried to make reservations at the library"" You don't need a res- ""Couldn't get one though"" Don't do this ""They were fully booked"""

"SPECIAL COLUMBUS DAY SALE: For $300 you can drive one of our vans into Canada and claim you discovered it."

"Knock knock. Whose there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget!"

"Why can't you find pirates in Kansas? They all live in Arkansas"

"What did the priest say about consorting with the sisters of the church? Nun is better!"

"I always put a crouton on my ice cream sundaes instead of a cherry. That way, it counts as a salad!"

"Gavin died today of heartburn. I am so sad gaviscon."