96865
Joke of the Day
"It's not 'stealing tweets' if you believe in recycling."
Next Joke
"I lost my watch at a party once Saw a guy stepping on it while sexually harassing a girl. I walked up to the dude, punched him straight in the nose. No one does that to a girl, not on my watch."
"What do you call an angry cashew? A pissed-achio."
"Items that are made from velcro... Are such a rip-off."
"How do fireflies start a race? Ready steady glow!"
"I've been training my facial muscles to do the nose twitch from Bewitched, and just had a huge breakthrough with the right nostril. Big day."
"What's infinite times better than the Super Bowl? The Hyperbole"
"What breaks when u give it to a toddler? Her hips"
"Caller: Finally! I got through! I've been trying to call the zoo for hours! Zookeeper: Yes all our lions were busy!"
"Going for a classy St. Patrick's Day this year. Anyone know of a good green wine?"