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Joke of the Day

"I've been training my facial muscles to do the nose twitch from Bewitched, and just had a huge breakthrough with the right nostril. Big day."

Next Joke
 
"Coffee Joke [OC] So the coffee asked the creamer, ""Are you outraged by our working conditions too, or do you support management?"" The creamer replied, ""I'm half and half."" ^^^I'm ^^^Sorry."
"They say if you like it then you should put a ring on it... ...man, I must really love shower curtains."
"Don't die a Virgin Seriously, there are terrorists waiting for you up there."
"When is a door not a door? When its ajar."
"What kind of dog did Jesus own a holy shih-tzu"
"A man enters a store and says: ""15 litres of wine please."" ""Did you bring a container for this?"" ""You're speaking to it."""
"HAD LOTS OF ESPRESSO. TWEETING FROM THE MOON. I LIVE HERE NOW. IT IS NOT MADE OUT OF CHEESE. 1 OUT OF 5 STARS: NOT RECOMMENDED"
"Just realized that I'm technically a vegan for the hours between dinner & breakfast. No wonder I feel so fucking superior all the time"
"My therapist told me cats are not babys, so i let my let my baby shit in his office."