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Joke of the Day

"Items that are made from velcro... Are such a rip-off."

"People have came up with a digital wallet... But last time I checked I didn't get charged for using a credit card"

"[Storm into Octopus Boss' office] I want a raise or I quit! [Octopus Boss is almost done camouflaging against the fern] NOT THIS TIME"

"I'm Mexican and I think we should go to bed early Tomorrow we need to wake up early to go build the wall."

"Roses are red. Violets are blue. There is always an Asian that's better than you."

"Ferguson shoe store broken into and looted everything but the work boots section."

"A little poetry never killed anybody. But haiku keeps trying."

"What's red, and bad for your teeth? A brick."

"How long does Charlie Sheen last in bed? Two and a half minutes."

"What do you call a Mexican nurse? [A care beaner.](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carabiner)"