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Joke of the Day

"Therapist: ""I think you have a phobia of marriage. Do you know the symptoms?"" Me: ""I can't say I do."" Therapist: ""That's one of them."""

"""I'm independent"" Said the Jamaican, showing me his initialised necklace."

"Space may sound romantic... But I'd never take a date there; there's no atmosphere."

"So I applied for a random volunteer job at my church I really hope I get the missionary position"

"When you are getting Old.... You know you're getting old when you stop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you're down there."

"if you open Door.jar, is the door still ajar?"

"What does the quantum duck say? Quark Quark"

"What kind of computer says ""Hello""? A Dell"

"TIL Humans eat more bananas than monkeys. I can't remember the last time I ate a monkey."

"""Great, those annoying white people that talk loud and take all the good seats just walked in"" -everyone else in the coffee shop in Friends."