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Joke of the Day

"Had to have ""the talk"" with my 5yr old. He asked me where sandwiches come from."

"""I don't have to outrun the bear! Just you!"" Wrong. Bears are so sick of that joke, they skip the slow guy and eat the fast guy now."

"It's like squirrels don't even know how good they'd be at parkour."

"What do you call a perverted fat knight? Sir Cum Ferrance"

"My sister said she wanted to have sex with me. I tried to say no, but she was incestant."

"I think the government just un-friended us."

"Where does letters to Santa go. (Dark Humor) In the trash, he's not real."

"Pornstars would make pretty good lawyers... People wouldn't mind getting fucked by them!"

"Was just told to take my labor day decorations down. I guess a giant inflatable woman giving birth in your front yard is tacky or something."

"Be careful when you're watching a movie with your wife. You're gonna get blamed for whatever the guy in the movie does."