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Joke of the Day

"""COME ON! WE WERE SUPPOSED TO LEAVE HOURS AGO! WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HAVEN'T SHOWERED?"" Noah yelled, waiting for the sloths to get on the Ark"

"It would be funny if we discover there are inhabitants on the comet... they would be comedians."

"The thing about liking Kanye is that no matter how into him you are, you're AT BEST his #2 fan."

"What do you call a hard working machine? Juan Deer"

"I just found out my wife has an identical twin I saw her on Tinder."

"A priest, a theif, and a child molester enters a bar. He buys a drink."

"Yo mama so fat she uses the interstate as a slip and slide."

"When Chuck Norris says ""More cowbell"", he MEANS it."

"By the cup of Nescafe even the most secret thoughts turn into words, and by the bottle of vodka into actions."

"[Barnes and Noble] CASHIER: anything else? ME: four barns and your finest noble please CASHIER: get out"