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Joke of the Day

"[Barnes and Noble] CASHIER: anything else? ME: four barns and your finest noble please CASHIER: get out"

"Q: Why did the eskimo wash his clothes in Tide? A: Because it was too cold outside."

"Why was 7 arrested for homicide? Because somebody divided 14 into 2 and he was the prime suspect"

"In my defense, your baby was crying before I dropped it."

"why did Hitler kill himself because he saw his gas bill"

"What did the bull say to the green eyed cow? I can't get pasteurize."

"You hear about the guy who had his whole left side amputated? I hear he's all right now."

"I'm a lady on the streets but a silly fake ghost in the sheets"

"[me, in a sting operation] Can I buy your best stuff? DRUG DEALER: what do u mean by stuff? *talking into my shirt* what do I mean by stuff?"

"I saw an identical tweet of my joke! It was posted months before mine, so he's worse than a tweet thief; he's a time-travelling tweet thief!"