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Joke of the Day

"The thing about liking Kanye is that no matter how into him you are, you're AT BEST his #2 fan."

"Whether you believe in evolution or not, one thing is certain... Human ancestry's pretty fishy."

"Men. Can't live with 'em...can't finish this joke unless I wanna be single the rest of my life."

"A man walks into a hotel with his family. He tells the clerk: ""I hope the porn is disabled."" The clerk replies: ""It's just regular porn you sick fuck. """

"Still in love with various hypothetical women."

"The reason cats are so pissy is they're God's perfect killing machines but they only weigh 8lbs and we keep picking them up and kissing them"

"Why was the school principal not pleased when he bumped into an old friend ? They were both driving their cars at the time !"

"Teacher draws a penis on the blackboard. ""Does any one know what that is?"" ""Yes,"" says Tommy. ""My dad has two, a small one for weeing and a big one for cleaning the babysitters teeth."""

"Did you hear about the two Blondes that were found frozen to death in their car at the drive-in movie theater? They went to see ""Closed for Winter""."

"Who's the most unpopular person at the Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch football match? The person who shouted ""Give me an L!"""