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Joke of the Day

"What do kings call musical chairs? A game of thrones."

"What do you get when you put resistance on a stove? Ohm on the range"

"Cats are about as useful as a football bat."

"ever since i put all my eggs in one basket i have received unsolicited egg advice, you dont know my life, you dont know what im all about"

"Some Christmas jokes A guy I helped at work told me these jokes. They're terrible. I love them. What goes HO HO HO thud? Santa laughing his head off. What goes HO HO HO? A Pimp taking inventory."

"When I lived on a houseboat I was seeing the girl next door, but eventually we drifted apart."

"What is a witch's least favorite food? Burnt steak."

"If ISIS were a Pokemon, which would they be? Voltorb; they're always using self destruct"

"Julie: What time is it? Counsellor: Three o'clock. Julie: Ohno! Counsellor: What's the matter? Julie: I've been asking the time all day. And everybody gives me a different answer!"

"The Viking God Thor comes to Earth... and spends all weekend shagging a woman with a harelip. On Monday morning he says to her ""I am Thor"". She replies ""you're thor, I can't even pith!"""