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Joke of the Day

"Gays are fucking assholes."

"What do you tell a women with a black eye? Nothing, you already told her once."

"Al Gore cried after having sex ... He released too many emissions."

"You know someone is hard core When they have strong and well-defined abdominal muscles"

"I startled my dog as she was peeing on a mailbox so now the dog she was leaving a message for is only gonna get half of it"

"How do you make three pounds of fat attractive? Put a nipple on it."

"Long ago, my mentor told me to look into self improvement. He used to mumble a bit, though. Now I don't have the discipline to actually build one, but I know everything about constructing shelves."

"What's the difference between a rooster and a hooker? [NSFW] The rooster says Cock-a-doodle-do, and the hooker says Any cock will do!"

"Why do vacuums machines make for such terrible hairdriers? because they suck."

"Nothing like an old high school crush finding you & friending you on Facebook because he needs cows or some shit for Farmville."