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Joke of the Day

"How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them."

"Katie Price's first task in Celebrity.... Katie Price's first task in Celebrity Big Brother is to not get pregnant or married in the next three weeks."

"I lost my mood ring I really just don't know how to feel about it."

"[trust fall exercise at work] CW: *closes eyes, falls, hits floor* OUCH! WTF?! YOU DIDN'T CATCH ME! M: Sorry, I thought it was optional."

"Why does Michael J. Fox make the best milkshakes? He uses the finest ingredients."

"Dentists' offices only come in two layouts: ""open-floor concept Smarthome with a medical twist!"" or ""design attained perfection in 1964"""

"New Subway slogan idea from Jared 12 is the new 18"

"I hate people who knock on my door and tell me that I need to be saved or I'm going to burn. Stupid firemen."

"Ye olde insult battle Insult the person above you in ye olde english. Try to quote shakespeare if you have any quotes in your head. I'll start. Thou dissembler, thou! I fear thee not."

"What does Morpheus seek for paper cuts? Neosporin."