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Joke of the Day

"New Subway slogan idea from Jared 12 is the new 18"

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea??? I wouldn't pay $200 to have a lentil on my face."

"Last autumn, a nice flower salesmen sold me some poppies in some cool cylinders. Oh boy! Two more months and here I come, fall opiate tubes!"

"Why did the music critic compare the song to a foul-mouthed mixture of sand and wind? Because it was Da-rude Sandstorm"

"What does a suicidal teenager do on the weekends? Hang at home."

"What does a Japanese guy name his pet lion? Ryan"

"What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer? A dressmaker sews what she gathers a farmer gathers what he sows."

"Our dishwasher works exceedingly well, as long as you only put clean dishes in it."

"What do you get when you cross a mosquito with a mountain climber? Nothing. You can't cross a vector and a scalar."

"The way I deal with my drinking problems is every time I want a drink I go to the gym. They have a bar there."