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Joke of the Day

"[Calls an ex] Ex: Hello Me: Remember how you lied about everything Ex: Why are you doing this Me: It's Throwback Thursday"

"What do you call a blonde with half a brain? Gifted!"

"My friends are taking me to a restaurant called DogHouse ""Is that a Korean place?"""

"A knock knock joke for when your SO is on her period. Knock knock. Who's there? Mr. Tampon. Mr. Tampon who? You bloody well know who I am. (For best effect, physically knock on her pubic region)"

"Why did Simba's Father die? He didn't mufasta"

"I once read the directions on the back of my shampoo bottle. It said to wash, rinse, and repeat. They found me passed out in the shower four days later."

"I've been divorced so long I've almost forgotten how to clear a computer history."

"You know what they say.Once you go black.... you're a single mother."

"What do you call a Mexican Baptism? Bean dip."

"A clean house is the sign of a broken computer."