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Joke of the Day

"In response to /u/WisestAirBender, ""Backwards"" is also a palindrome. ""Backwards"" spelled backwards is ""Sdrawkcab"", which is still backwards."

"Having the worst day ever. All traffic lights I passed were green so I had to stop on the side of the road to check my Facebook."

"An invisible man and an invisible woman got married. Their kids were nothing to look at either."

"I play in the band I play the circle, it used to be the triangle but I beat the fuck out of it"

"I've got my own lie detector at home. I call her ""honey"".....:)"

"I hate computer speak My brain just cant PROCESS it."

"I was cutting up vegetables in the kitchen... ...and was promptly arrested"

"There's nothing scarier than a squirrel who's not afraid of you."

"My toddler begged to go swimming and then threw a tantrum because she didn't want to get wet in case you were on the fence about having kids"

"[back from the ultrasound] MOTHER-IN-LAW: So did you see the fetus? ME: Fetus, handus, legus...there was practically a whole baby in there!"