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Joke of the Day

"It's all fun and games until someone from real life recognizes you and you realize you're too small to drag off the body."

"Of all the cars in Italy... Mussolini's is the fascist."

"What do you call a cheap hooker's snatch? Death Valley."

"My resolution this year was to learn Spanish, and that only lasted about dos weekos."

"19 and 20 got in a fight. 21."

"Why does the lemon feel uncomfortable making friends outside of tumblr? Because it has cis-trust issues"

"What do kinky ghosts enjoy? Boo-kake"

"I told her I had lightning quick reflexes... Sounds better than premature ejaculator..."

"What's the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?- They boo-kle their seatbelts"

"I log in and out of Facebook at the same speed a frightened kid runs down into the basement to grab something and runs back up."