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Joke of the Day

"I log in and out of Facebook at the same speed a frightened kid runs down into the basement to grab something and runs back up."

"*Frankenstein arrives with his monster at a bodybuilding contest* ""Oh, you meant... you meant it like... ugh. Well that was a waste of time"""

"What is not the answer to this question? Not this."

"The Chinese stock market... >Is the safest market in the world, the most transparent market, the least fluctuating market, the most democratic market."

"The bartender says... ""We don't serve tachyons here."" A tachyon walks into a bar."

"Why did the chicken dance with a fig? It couldn't get a date."

"If I was the editor of Vogue, I'd just put an actual skeleton on the cover with the headline, ""Feel bad yet? You should, Fatty."""

"If someone tells you he has a centrifuge on a submarine, don't believe him! It's a subterfuge..."

"What did the girl sea say when the boy sea asked her for a date? Shore."

"How much did the lawyer charge the prostitute to represent her in court? Nothing, he did her PRO BONER"