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Joke of the Day

"B: Girl you so fine, I rate you a 9 3/4. G: Why? B: Because I wanna put myself in you. Harry Potter pickup line"

"What Is Difference Between Bomb And Condom.? What Is Difference Between Bomb And Condom.? # # # # # In A Bomb Blast Population Decrease.. * But. . * In A Condom Blast Population Increase..!"

"One of the guys I work with overdosed on Viagra. His wife's been taking it pretty hard."

"Odd that the silent way to alert performers they should quickly end their act is a gesture to slice your own throat."

"How do you confuse a heterosexual person? Eleven"

"*tweet gets 3 rts* please no autographs"

"A cow fell off a truck in Russia They say he hadn't been Put in properly."

"What do we want? FLEXIBLE WORK SCHEDULES THAT ACCOMMODATE FAMILY LIFE! When do we want it? [Unintelligible yelling of different dates]"

"Every funeral is open-casket if you've got a crowbar and a sense of adventure."

"The best curve on a girl is her smile... Naw just kiddin, look at dat ass."