176954

Joke of the Day

"The best curve on a girl is her smile... Naw just kiddin, look at dat ass."

"Did you hear about the hispanic that's been stealing all the trains? I heard he has some loco motives. (Locomotives)"

"Animal behavior can warn you when an earthquake is coming. Like the night before the last earthquake,our dog took the car keys and drove off"

"I have a drinking problem (when I tilt my head back to take a drink I can't see my phone)"

"I bet we'd have to say 'The steaks are pretty high' if a herd of cows ever got into a field of marijuana."

"What is white a d 14 inches long? Nothing."

"What's the M0D's name before they're triggered; turning into a furious, putrid, lump of blubber? Bruce Banner"

"The best 5 seconds of my life are when I wake up and have no idea I'm a human or have responsibilities."

"Which two letters of the alphabet are nothing? MT (empty) ."

"Opening a Twitter account is like opening a bag of money after you rob a bank. You're happy until shit explodes in your face."