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Joke of the Day
"A CEO of a large gas station chain was arrested this morning He was running a shell corporation."
Next Joke
"When someone asks you if you've met their kids... ... it turns out that the proper reply is NOT ""Yes, heheh."""
"Learn how to avoid internet rip offs..... Send me Reddit gold and I will give you valuable information on how to avoid future scams."
"A newbie at work asked me if I knew where the coloured printer was. I said ""It's 2016, Jamal, you can use any printer you want"""
"How do you get a blonde to agree to a threesome? (Oc) Tell her she'll see an Eiffel tower if she does"
"The first rule of relationships: You don't find out why someone was available until it's too late."
"Why did Florence Welch sing 'Sweet Nothing'? Because she was out of lemo-nada. It's okay guys, i'll let myself out..."
"""So, do you play any instruments?"" Me: *slaps knees for 30 minutes straight without breaking eye contact*"
"We save women and children first because the dads have to make sure all the lights are off and the thermostat is set appropriately."
"The first rule of Running Late Club is get stuck behind a Prius."