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Joke of the Day

"The first rule of Running Late Club is get stuck behind a Prius."

"Did you hear about the Coldplay concert in China last weekend? It was all yellow."

"I've been trying to sell my child to any house that will take her. I'm a daughter door salesman."

"All generalizations are false, including this one."

"*walks past yoga studio* *looks in window* *eyes widen* Awesome. It's like kindergarten. *walks into class* *unrolls mat* *takes a nap*"

"Who is the king of the pencil case? The ruler"

"The tinier the dog, the crazier the lady."

"Did you hear about the proctologists collectible Corvettes? He wrecked em'."

"A battery's life sucks. You're either working or you're dead."

"Britain just left the EU! But they'll be alright... After all, you always lose a few pounds after a break up."