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Joke of the Day

"I stuffed my mom last night. I know you're thinking I have an Oedipus complex and that's gross but jokes on you I'm a taxidermist"

"My Ex girlfriend works in a pharmacy, so whenever I want to spoil her mood I'll just go there to buy condom for no reason. Sometimes I'll go 3 times a day..."

"Why don't you play UNO with a Mexican? Because they steal all the green cards"

"How to you tell a naval officer from and RAF officer on an aircraft carrier? The naval officer is trying to feed bread to the helicopters!"

"Don't you just hate it when ... You can't understand what your girl is trying to say? Take a step back and what's she's trying to say will become a lot clearer"

"Counted five pregnant women at this Noah matinee. Praying their water doesn't break."

"Son asked me what a cowlick is To which I replied, thats what you call giving oral to Adele."

"How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb None they'll all beat the room for being black."

"Baby, let's configure our hard drives in master and slave position."

"I just think of unfollowers as me paying my Follower Tax."