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Joke of the Day

"optimist: the glass is half full optimist - the glass is half full; pessimist - the glass is half empty; feminist - the glass is being raped."

"What do Mexican and Black people have in common? Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal."

"I call my wife ""Happy Meal""... She's not enough to satisfy me but she comes with a toy..."

"Why doesn't Santa Claus have any kids? Because he only comes once a year, and when he does, it's down a chimney."

"Simba, everything the light touches is our kingdom ""wat abot that shadowy place. by 5pm it wil be in the sun"" ..who told you about science"

"What did the black guy get on his SATs? BBQ sauce."

"Phones these days are so expensive... If you fall and hear a crack, you hope you broke your leg."

"I don't like the idea of bacteria in my yogurt so I mix it with hand sanitizer. It cuts down on the taste, but I sleep better at night."

"If you're a vegan w a gluten allergy who doesn't own a TV do you put it on a business card or just wait to force it into every conversation?"

"A man walks into a bar He suffered a minor concussion."