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Joke of the Day

"[NSFW] What did Olive Oyl say to Popeye on their wedding night? ""No fisting."""

"""We had unprotected sex. Give us a present."" -- the subtext of every baby shower"

"As a purple faced man I long to meet a purple faced woman someday... Don't hold your breath"

"If the opposite of con is pro... ...the opposite of constitution has to be prostitution."

"The asterisk was invented by someone seeing a cat's butt and thinking that it would make a great punctuation mark. It was almost a catastrophe."

"Reason why I'm single... Because it's impossible to be double."

"What did the scientist say to his fellow co-worker to stop him from jumping off the cliff to as an act of suicide? Don't jump, you've got so much potential!"

"Her- um.. why are you wearing a Darth Vader mask? Me- you said lets do Yoda together H- I SAID YOGA YOU DOPE M- VERY WRONG I WAS"

"My friend just told me he's opening up an underground water storage facility. Oh, three of them, actually. Well, well, well..."

"My friends' girlfriend gets diagnosed with cancer.. He proposed to her on the spot. See ladies, it's not that men can't be spontaneous and romantic, we just don't like long term commitment"