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Joke of the Day

"When I first saw you from across the room, I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life avoiding you."

"I am a recovering redneck. It's been three weeks since I dry humped a cousin."

"Before working to reunite the US he was known as Abram Lincoln."

"How are Asians and Smart Cars similar? They are yellow can they only hold small packages"

"Vasaline is the key to having sex with your spouse after having children... *Just stick that stuff on the outside of the doorknob and the kids can't turn the knob to get in."

"Why do we always see a Dung Beetle with a ball of shit? Because that's how he rolls. ^^/groan"

"How many short term memory loss patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? to get to the other side.."

"I'm that asshole who puts an ""o"" at the end of a word and calls it Spanish."

"Hey baby do you build portable wienerschnitzels? Because you make my hotdog stand"

"""Nothing there? Better bark at it."" - a dog"