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Joke of the Day

"There's no dumb questio ""Why'd my parents get divorced?"" See. His parents most likely split up because he's an interrupting little shit"

"Why do you go to bed? Because the bed will not come to you."

"I'm not popular, but I have nice friends. I'm not rich but I have what I need. I may not be liked but I know I'm loved."

"honey the ppl of atlantis lost an entire city & thats like 2000x bigger than a baby so idk if all this yellin is necessary"

"If this isn't funny, I won't be able to live with myself I'll have to get another apartment."

"What is the difference between a black guy and a white guy that sells drugs? One's a pharmacist and the other's a drug dealer."

"I 've got an intense fear that I am a hypochondriac, or at least showing symptoms of one"

"Life on mars found... To be unlikely."

"Funny that when a guy sleeps with tons of girls, he's a stud.. But when a girl sleeps with tons of guys, somehow I'm not one of them."

"At the school for the hearing impaired... ...no one can hear you scream!"