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Joke of the Day

"Everyone hates the word moist until they eat a very dry muffin."

Next Joke
 
"I just learned that embalmers insert butt plugs into corpses to prevent leakage.... So now I know why zombies walk like they do."
"Charm me with your intelligence or just wait till I'm really drunk."
"On a scale from one to one hundred, how mature are you? 69."
"Kind of cruel that ""stutter"" has two syllables."
"Reddit comments are just filled with so many bad puns... that it should be renamed Geddit."
"People act like weed is the worst thing for short-term memory. Go drink 15 beers and see if you can remember your name or how legs work."
"If you find me passed out in Austin this weekend with a penis drawn on my face at least have the decency to not tag me in the facebook pic."
"2015:hey how's it going so far? 2016:uh good 15: 16: 15:you've got an armed mili- 16:we've got an armed militia in a wildlife building, yeah"
"An abacus doesn't need batteries you can always count on it"