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Joke of the Day

"Well it's like my dad always told me ""When life gives ya lemons"" Chances are you're in the fruit aisle."

"Chinese kid was born before the due date. Parents named him Sudden Lee."

"Another night, another chance to put a flaming skeleton outside a little girl's window and then hide it when she tries to show her parents."

"My air fresheners for insane people got turned down... They said there wasn't any cents in making scents for people who don't make sense"

"The most diverse software company in the world consists of 100% black lesbian single mothers missing a body part, with arts degrees"

"Skinny = anorexic , thick = obese , virgin = too good , non-virgin = slut , friendly = fake , quiet = rude. You can never please society"

"Me: yeah was bingo the name of the dog or the farmer Professor: i meant questions about the exa- holy shit"

"Smartest joke I have I went to a bed and breakfast the other day that said that they served breakfast at any time. So I ordered some scrambled eggs during the Neolithic"

"I like my comedic timing like my pizza delivery With pepperoni."

"I hug people I hate so I know how big I need to dig the hole in my backyard."