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Joke of the Day

"People need to learn how to record their name on a voicemail system. ""You have one new voicemail from... *heavy breathing* Toooooooddddd"""

"What worse than finding out your wife has cancer? Finding out it is curable."

"I used to date a girl with a lazy eye But I had to break it off because she was seeing someone on the side."

"Little known fact Delicacy is French for ""I dare you to eat this""."

"How do you get Akbar to shut up? Muzzle'm."

"Im having a Shitty day.... Tell me a yoke"

"You know what the worst part of being black and Jewish is? I have to sit in the back of the oven."

"Imagine the havoc if raccoons could fly. Rotund shadows grow larger over a pizza guy moments before he's swarmed by snarling, handsy demons."

"If European in the bathroom, who's the guy on the floor? Himalayan"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? The get to the other side"