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Joke of the Day

"How do you get Akbar to shut up? Muzzle'm."

"I laugh at an ex who now dates an ugly man-pig... Until I realize that maybe she has a type."

"Luke, I am your uncle. Luke, I am your third cousin. Luke, I am your grandmother. - Skywalker family reunion"

"What time does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon? ""Tennish"""

"Christmas Chimney Congestion Q: Why doesn't Santa have any children?A: He only comes once a year -- and when he does, it's down a chimney."

"There's a lot of speculation about the new iPhone. It's expected to have a larger screen and a better operating system. Yes, the new iPhone will be called last year's Samsung Galaxy."

"My church was going to have a sermon on prophecy today... but it was cancelled due to unforeseen circumstances."

"Some lesbians built a house on my block... It was all tongue-in-groove with no studs."

"What do you call somebody with no body and no nose? Nobody knows."

"What do America and Russia have in common? They both want to kill turkey this thanksgiving"