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Joke of the Day

"Imagine the havoc if raccoons could fly. Rotund shadows grow larger over a pizza guy moments before he's swarmed by snarling, handsy demons."

"What do you call a masturbating cow? Beef stroganoff."

"Don't you hate it when dontyouhateitwhenpeopledontusespaces"

"What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection? A 1/4 pounder with cheese"

"How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one. All he has to do is hold it in place while the world revolves around him."

"Threesome fun!!! I had planned a threesome, but there were two no shows. I still had fun though!!!"

"how do you tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? one will see you later, and the other in a while"

"TIL Dr Dre adopted a child from Mexico The child calls him his ""PaDre"""

"Biochemistry joke- I once went carbon dating... I was arrested because carbon was only 14"

"Son, I found some drugs in your backpack ""Dad I swear they're not mine"" DAMMIT SUSAN, THEY ARENT HIS. 1st time we were proud and you blew it"