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Joke of the Day
"Little known fact Delicacy is French for ""I dare you to eat this""."
Next Joke
"What did the gang-banger say when two houses fell on him? Get off me, homes."
"Girls like guys who take charge: ask her out, plan a date, take a hostage, overthrow a government, nuke her ex's hometown, buy her a puppy"
"I like to go to the vet It's a lot cheaper than the doctor. The only shitty part is the thermometer"
"[showing my family to coworker] This is a picture of my daughter & my cat. Mittens & Jack. ""You named your daughter Jack?"" Nope, mittens"
"[arguing with my wife] WELL AT LEAST I DON'T BRING UP THINGS FROM THE PAST LIKE YOU DID LAST MONTH"
"It takes a village to raise a child so I dropped the kids off at my neighbors house with a note: ""your turn"""
"A grasshopper walks into a bar... Bartender says, ""You know, we have a drink named after you."" Grasshopper says, ""You have a drink called Steve?"""
"Bra.... Only part of female clothes.. she is happy she wont fit in anymore :)"
"Roses are red Violets are blue Who shit in my garden?"