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Joke of the Day

"What department do you not want to end up at in a corporation run by cannibals? Human Resources."

"Attention children: Mom is closed."

"Why are double amputees always wrong? Because they don't have a leg to stand on. Note: I'm a right leg amputee and I made this up myself."

"I was so poor as a kid, we only had Onepac Shakur."

"I know I'm supposed to be outraged about this whole NSA phone tapping scandal, but I've got to admit, its a little refreshing that after a decade of marriage, someone is finally listening to me."

"They told me to imagine a guy holding a jug full of water. But I just couldn't pitcher it."

"Why didn't Helen Keller scream when she fell off the cliff? Because she was wearing mittens."

"What sound does a 747 make when it bounces? boeing boeing boeing"

"My friend Gav died of heartburn the other day Gaviscon"

"What is the most popular bar in the Middle East Aloha Snackbar"