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Joke of the Day

"What sound does a 747 make when it bounces? boeing boeing boeing"

"Carl: Cold out night. Me: Tell me something I don't know. Carl: NASA found LSD improved spiders' ability to make webs. Me: Fair enough."

"Not everyone can brag about getting a handjob from their barber after a haircut... But then again, not everyone cuts their own hair."

"2016 Denial 2017 Anger 2018 Bargaining 2019 Depression 2020 Acceptance"

"Was just complaining about Mondays. Then I thought, ""Wow. David Lee Roth would never do that."" So I shut up & finished my breakfast."

"Why couldn't the FBI find Sepp Blatter's bribe money? He used it all to bribe Canada to host the Women's World Cup."

"Funny shit 52% of all women have used vibrators , the other 48% have new ones ."

"I saw leaked footage of Finding Dory yesterday Bruce the shark is now called Caitlyn."

"Chris Christie's name... Is so dumb to me. It's just the male and female version of the same name. Like Eric Erica Daniel Danielle or Bruce Caitlyn"

"The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss."