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Joke of the Day

"This month is called ""February,"" that stuff is called ""snow"" and unless you live in what's called the ""tropics,"" drop the shock and awe."

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Steve Martin: A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

"I accidentally killed another cactus & now one of my plants is trying to grow towards the phone to call 911."

"What do you call an avocado cut up into 6.022*10^23 times? Guacamole"

"What's the difference between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my dick in a McChicken."

"I like my women like I like my psychiatrists... Jung."

"Why do mermaids wear seashells? Because D shells are too big and B shells are too small."

"A note to reddit admins "

"When the space shuttle gets back from its last mission, wouldn't it be hilarious if we were all dressed as apes?"

"What's the difference between a 12 year old grill and a 12 year old girl? The grill doesn't cry when you use it to satisfy your meaty desires."