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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally killed another cactus & now one of my plants is trying to grow towards the phone to call 911."

"Tiger Woods says he's been ""blown away"" by the reception from fans. Sometimes the setup doesn't need a punchline."

"Hate when the cop is like, ""Sir, have you been petting kittens?"" and I say, ""I petted a few..."" as I open the car door and kittens spill out"

"Why are Muslims so violent? Because I slam."

"currently imagining a redditor choking on an uncooked hotdog and trying to wheeze out ""epic fail"" before losing consciousness"

"What is the toughest religion to get into? The Difficult."

"[joke request] Civil engineering jokes, (Bridges, sewers, roads, engineers in general) What is the best joke you have related to Civil Engineering."

"A police officer called my attention He asked why I have red eyes.......Now we both have sore eyes"

"[spelling bee] Judge: Your word is McConaughey McConaughey. M-C-C-O-N-A-U-G-H-E-Y, McConaughey. Did I get it? Judge: We have no idea"

"Have you heard about... Alex Trebex? His job is in jeopardy."