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Joke of the Day

"A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. Steve Martin: A day without sunshine is like, you know, night."

"A terrorist made a post on reddit... Then he said ""Well, I'm gonna see how's that gonna blow up in a few hours"""

"Your mom must study Reverse-Judo. She keeps throwing herself at bad men."

"Unless you're going to tell me there's a sniper target on me, it's okay, I can wait for you to finish chewing to hear what you have to say."

"What do you call a group of gay smart men that are all the same? Homogenius"

"""i'm not even that high."" -me talking to the microwave"

"*giraffe getting his daily coffee* G: usual grande mocha man Barista: gee that's a... G: *sigh* B:...tall order G: Christ, every goddam day Phil"

"Menstruation jokes are never funny... Period."

"Did you hear about the local electrician? His rates are Shocking."

"Omg I'm so thirsty- *Kool-Aid Man busts through wall* OH YEAHH *Sugar-free zero calorie Kool-Aid Man jiggles door handle* LITTLE HELP HERE"