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Joke of the Day

"You're fat. Fatty."

"What do you call an abominable snowman who's always late? A not-yeti."

"In congested traffic, it's best to stay on the right side of the road. It'd be a real tragedy if you were on the wrong side."

"I remember the one time I was wrong... Turns out I was mistaken."

"*wakes up in hospital* What happened? ""It was a heart attack"" Will I be ok? *a big heart outside slowly taps on window with a bat* ""No"""

"Met an old friend... I ran into an old friend the other day. He asked if I was getting any on the side. I told him, ""It's been a long time, but I didn't know they'd moved it over."""

"Either way, I don't think we should let Shrodinger near any more cats."

"""Smoking breaks"" at work should be deducted from annually leave. We all have addictions, you don't see me leave a meeting to fry plantain"

"You can tell a lot about a person by autopsy."

"What does Hillary Clinton use to drown the noise of Black Lives Matter protesters? White noise"