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Joke of the Day

"Bay: come over Me: no, I'm watching TMNT Bay: I made one too Me: but it's awful Bay: come watch it Me: who gave you my number, Michael"

"What did the mortician say to his new necrophiliac employee? Don't worry, you'll fit right in."

"How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters? All tongue-in-groove, with no studs."

"How many black men does it take to feed a family? Just one, if you eat the whole thing."

"I'm lazy, but not 'The guy who named blackbirds' lazy."

"A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing."

"Do cats like Deadmau5? I mean he is a mouse himself, but maybe they like the concept?"

"Why is leather armor best for sneaking? It's literally made of hide."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Craig ! Craig who ? Craig in the wall !"

"Sometimes you have to put your phone down and take a look at what's around you.. And wonder how you drove your car into a swimming pool."