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Joke of the Day

"How can you tell if your house was built by lesbian carpenters? All tongue-in-groove, with no studs."

"Don't break anybody's heart, they have only one. Break their bones, they have 206."

"Why did the ska kid not get the job?... they were worried about his checkered past"

"funniest joke i have heard in a while ""what is the difference between an epileptic corn shucker and a hooker with diarrhea?"" One shucks between fits"

"He just gave me his last bit of bacon. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. It was a proposal right?"

"I went to a dance. First they played 'Jump', so I jumped. Then they played 'The Twist', so I twisted. Then they played 'Come On Eileen', so I got kicked out."

"Why is it important to have plenty of help when changing a light bulb? Many hands make light work."

"Establish dominance by licking the spoon and then putting it back in the mashed potatoes at Thanksgiving dinner."

"so a polar bear walks into a bar and says: ""i'd like a...................................... beer."" and the bartender says: ""hey man, what's with the big pause?"""

"If we're talking and I suddenly look off into the distance at a copse of trees that means I'm thinking of burying you there."